Tuesday, 17 November 2015

Mistress picks up the cane

During a long weekend away Mistress decided to reacquaint me with the delights of the cane.

For many years now Mistress has always expected me to pack one of our canes in a suitcase for our holiday’s and, even though we’d not been embracing our FLR for some time, the habit of carefully bending a length of rattan to conceal it in the bottom of a suitcase, wasn’t something I’d overlooked when I packed the cases this time.

When we arrived at the hotel, Mistress was delighted to spot the red handle of the thickest kooboo cane in our collection.

“Its just as well you brought that isn’t it? The way you’ve been behaving just lately, I think it’s time you learned a few lessons. Clothes off and lie over the end of the bend.”

So, within a few brief minutes of arriving at the hotel, my bottom was being striped with the rhythmic thwack of the meaty cane. Twelve quick, hard strokes had me squirming around the bed, my bottom reddened, a deeply intense stinging burn lingering several minutes well after the strokes had been applied. 

I wondered to myself what all the fuss was about on my behalf in pushing Mistress away from being so dominant what seemed like months ago? Being caned wasn’t so terrible. In fact, it was a rather luxurious, bitter-sweet sensation to be under Mistress spell after so long.

The lecture that followed wasn’t so comforting. “With nothing to distract us, we can take the time to remind you of your place and your responsibilities,” she told me with the kind of steely stare that I’d not seen in many months.

I suppose this change in persona had been precipitated by several recent discussions regarding our FLR. After many months of a vanilla lifestyle, I had been keen to reinstate our old regime. But Mistress didn’t seem interested in the up and down rollercoaster of life with a sometime submissive. We had discussed my ‘need’ for occasional discipline and Mistress ventured I should seek a disciplinarian.

I’d been that route in my previous relationship so knew the pitfalls, as well as the positives, and felt that it would be much more beneficial for Mistress to discipline me. But she wasn’t keen and I can’t say I could blame her, given my past history of refusing to accept her authority when it didn’t suit me to play to her rules.

When she insisted I seek help, I relented and, for once, did as I was told. I knew I needed real discipline and quite by chance found a group just establishing a judicial punishment event and made enquiries.
It’s a male only event, which suits me. There would be no hint of intimacy, there would be some degree of severity and there would be no ‘bratting.’  It sounded like it would be a serious event, which was exactly what I needed.

But why an event and not a one-on-one meeting? Honestly? I felt an event would add to the humiliation of my punishment, and that I would have no option to seek any mercy in front of a group, where in a one-on-one, I might be able to solicit a lesser punishment when faced with real severity.

I was required to make a confession to the Court but before submitting anything I discussed it in detail with Mistress, who then dictated a covering letter, to add to my own damning confession.

Before I received sentence from the court, Mistress and I went on our long weekend break and, it seems, with corporal punishment on her mind.

Suffice to say, after three days away my bottom was well and truly stripped and swollen. I had several 12-stroke sessions and a few sixers, and quite enjoyed the entire experience. Whether I’ll feel the same getting all the strokes in one drawn out punishment is another matter but for now I’ll just enjoy having Mistress back.

But when we returned home that Judicial Punishment Court summons was waiting for me. I’m not sure where I stand now. My official summons from the court makes no bones that I’m to suffer a very severe punishment. It’s quite scary to contemplate what I’m facing. But if Mistress is now dealing with my discipline I wonder if she sees the need in me attending the Court, preferring instead to discipline me in her own inimitable way?

Wednesday, 8 April 2015

CP training in progress

My bottom cheeks are mass of knotty ridges. Not sore, but quite bruised and lined with twin-track cane marks. Its two days since Mistress let loose with the cane – all part of my ‘retraining.’

It’s not worked out quite how I expected. It’s not the full boot camp we discussed and Mistress hasn’t insisted on things like uniform each day, me keeping a diary, or even adhering to the most basic of rules but there is an under-current of tension in our relationship. It’s the kind of tension that tells me to mind my step, do as I’m told and make sure I show respect at all times. Something our relationship has been lacking and I think we’re both happy to have back in place.

We’ve quickly reached that stage of ‘awareness’ thanks to some intensive moments. Mistress, if you recall, was tired of my lack of willingness to bow to her authority or take punishment. So we embarked on this re-training programme, which kicked off with me getting the cane, just to remind me of how discipline will be maintained. The difference now is Mistress had done away with restraints and will punish me as and when she sees fit.

She’s seen fit to do so quite a lot in the past few days. Initially I found it impossible to take the cane without losing my position over the waist-high ladder. We used to use this all the time but as punishment got ever more severe, I couldn’t hold my place so we adapted two different height stools that I could be secured over.

Mistress wanted to instill more self-discipline in me so now it’s over the ladder and hold on best I can.
We were away during the weekend but Mistress insisted on us taking the Loopy Johnny to maintain discipline all weekend.  It’s a neat little whip, with three thin loops of rubber, which creates very little noise so can be vigorously used in hotel rooms. It could be if the sorry recipient, ie me, could maintain any kind of composure. I felt the Loopy Johnny many times over our weekend break. Mistress wasn’t giving me any leeway. When used vigourously, it can evoke a burning stinging sensation.

Monday night we were back home and I received a memorable thrashing with the cane. Thankfully, we’ve not progressed to the thin Dragon yet, initial training is helped along with copious use of the crook-handled school cane – which still has a very effective thuddy sting.

We had agreed on a tariff of 12 strokes in any one punishment, with extras for moving or creating too much of a fuss. But Mistress was clearly displeased with me and told me I was to be punished for a lack of respect and not doing what I was told quickly enough.

I had no redress with the decision and bent over with some degree of confidence I could take the 12. Only it wasn’t 12. Mistress carried on to 18 – and then 24. By 18 I was losing grip and standing bolt upright, delaying each stroke while trying to regain composure.

When we reached 24 Mistress said, “Right, I’m going to give you three more and if you stay in position, you can get up.”

I recall groaning and gripping tight. Mistress unleashed the most incredible cane shots I’ve ever had and on the third, I lost grip.

“Three more,” she said.

Again, I lost grip. By now I was blubbering and wimpering like a child.

“If you think it’s that funny we can carry on all night boy,” she said.

“I’m not laughing Mistress. I’m crying.”

She bent down to look at my face and could see the tears I was squeezing from my tightly shut eyes at each stroke.

“It’s surely the easiest thing in the world to hang on to that bottom bar for three little strokes?” she asked, mocking my plight.

She was right of course. But each time the pain was beating down my fortitude to hang on. Three more. I held on but she spotted my finger and thumb relax and let go.

“Oh dear, three more,” she said.

The same happened again. But finally I manage to hold on and Mistress allowed me to get up.
She ordered me to kneel before her and said: “You have yourself to blame for that. If you’d done as you were told it would have been all over after 24. You had better get used to holding on tight, hadn’t you boy?”

“Yes Mistress.”

“Better still you could improve your behaviour so we don’t need to use the cane anymore. But with your appalling behaviour I think that’s very unlikely, don’t you?”

“No Mistress.”

Thursday, 2 April 2015

DD training underway

“We need to discuss discipline,” said Mistress, whispering in my ear as we lie in bed the other night.

“I know. I’m becoming obsessed by the thought of corporal punishment. The fantasy of it is always on my mind yet I’m frightened by the reality,” I admitted.

“It’s time we implemented that training programme we discussed,” she said.

My stomach churned, but I found myself saying, “I’d like that please Mistress.”

Mistress rolled over and went to sleep. Needless to say, I didn’t, wondering what her next move would be.

The next evening I came home from work and was met at the door. Immediately I knew what was coming.

“I want you to go up upstairs, get changed and bring me the cane,” said Mistress.

“Do I need restraints Mistress?” I asked humbly.

“You know the new rules,” she said and waved me away.

The new rules of course were that there would be no restraints. Remaining in place for punishment without restraints was intended as a way of teaching me self discipline. I was hoping I could take our early re-training tariff of no more than 12 strokes without too much fuss.

Why only 12? When we discussed why I’d lost the ability to take the heavier punishments – normally 36 strokes – I explained to Mistress that I suffered a fit of panic early on in a punishment, knowing I’d not take the full amount without a fuss.

She decided that to re-train me properly, we’d start at a maximum of 12 in any one batch – like we did all those years ago. But there could be an unlimited number of  batches of 12 in any one day. I’d not escaped severe punishment.

Upstairs I put on my punishment pants and took the crook-handled cane from the cupboard, then presented myself to Mistress in the living room. The ladder I would soon have to bend over was already in place.

There was little dialogue. Mistress took the cane from me and then used it as a pointer to motion me to bend over the ladder. My ankles were pinioned on the inside of a rail at the bottom of the ladder. I had to grip the bottom run of the other side.

Mistress peeled down my plastic pants and within seconds I felt the familiar tapping of thin rattan on my bared bottom, followed by a whoosh and an intense sting.

The pain of the cane is something I’ve never got used to and it’s always a shock how much it stings. She gave me six and stopped.

“Take a deep breath,” she said. “Six fast ones.”

I broke the rules when I let go of the bottom rail after four of them and stood upright while she finished the final two.

“Back over for six more.”

I groaned but bent back over, fearing I’d incur even more if not. The final six were delivered at a more time-honoured steady pace. I honestly think she was lenient with the final six, which allowed me to maintain my composure.

“You deserve more,” Mistress said, “but that will do for now. I think it’s safe for you to assume that this is the start of our new DD regime. You can go and make my dinner now.”

Friday, 20 March 2015

Mistress’s DD training regime

So, I am to be retrained. Mistress offered me the choice of scrapping our DD regime altogether, sending me to a professional disciplinarian, or re-training. The latter was the only option for me.

I know we’ve been down this road before and I know I behave badly as a submissive – someone even described my behaviour as ‘atrocious’ -  but I think this has every chance of working because Mistress is driving it 100% this time.

She’s told me the training programme starts with immediate effect and the aim is to make me more compliant with her expectations, to make me more respectful and attentive, accept her authority without question – at all times. “You need to become more accountable for you own behaviour and remember your place,’ she said.

The training period is initially one month and the reason for that, she says, is to ensure I get a real chance of adapting to the ways she expects. In one month, she says, we should encounter a wide variety of challenges to our regime, and need to learn how to adapt to them.

We could have done a more severe weekend Boot Camp, which we’ve done before, but the short sharp shock only has a limited effect over a longer period – or at least it has for us in the past.

So from today I must refer to her as Mistress at all times, unless in the company of family, close friends or work colleagues. That means if we’re out shopping and then I have to call her Mistress during all conversations. An interesting prospect.

When I come home from work in the evening I have to go immediately upstairs and get changed into my ‘uniform’, then report to Mistress. This involves knocking on the door to the living room and waiting until I am summonsed. I will then be lectured on behaviour and given my instructions for the evening. If I have my own work to do, then this will be taken into account when my chores are set. It’s the same process for weekends.

Punishment is entirely at the discretion of Mistress and will now include the option for corner time as well as corporal punishment. Plus she intends to use the strap on my hands and a whip on my back.
To avoid any misunderstanding I will be lectured on my faults prior to any punishment – though Mistress reserves the right to punish for no reason – and says she will inform me when that is the case.
Three important aspects of our DD is that I accept her direction without question, that I remain in place throughout punishment and I endure it without vocal reaction.

Mistress has decided that in future I will be punished over the ladder we used to use – but with no restraint (like we used in the past) so the emphasis is 100% on my self control. With that in mind she says the maximum number of strokes will be 12, though I will earn extra if I loose position or cry out.
“Your self control is a very important aspect of your discipline. And it’s important that we focus on your discipline by introducing consistency,” she said, adding, “Little and often will benefit you and our relationship in the long term.”

She warns me the cane strokes will still be at full force – and there is no limit to how many punishment sessions there are in one day. And she added: “Don’t think you’ve escaped more severe punishments. Remember this is a training period and we have to get you to behave like a submissive at all times – not when you feel like it. Those 36-stroke canings – and more - are by no means a thing of your past.”

Mistress says the cane, strap and whip will be left hanging on the bedroom door at all times for instant accessibility. We currently keep everything locked away. “Just seeing the cane there will remind you to behave,” she said.

I also have to maintain a diary of thoughts throughout the training programme but will only be allowed a maximum of 10 minutes each evening to record them. They will be vetted before being posted on line.

I feel happy that we have direction – and that Mistress is driving it. I know I should be better behaved in this style of relationship but I’ve allowed other influences to dominate my life.

Having DD there 24/7 will add focus to our relationship. The thought of training is quite daunting but it will give more sustained focus, the kind of focus we’ve had in the past but comes in fits and starts. I secretly believe if this works, then Mistress will adopt it as full time, which is even more daunting.

We welcome any comments and/or advice others in similar relationships may have to help us through what might be a quite demanding period for us both. 

Thursday, 19 March 2015

Subby's DD re-training

It’s sometimes uncanny how things evolve when writing about personal experiences in the world of female led relationships and domestic discipline.

I’ve recently blogged about my first experiences of corporal punishment as an adult, which were M/m based.

Reading some M/m punishment stories, which then triggered memories of my past, provoked my thoughts. Why was I reading them?  Because I’m interested in all forms of discipline especially how such traditional methods still have a place in adult relationships today.

When I posted my thoughts, Dan, who runs a forum about female led relationships suggested: “I wonder whether if it (being punished by a man) might inject an additional element of seriousness or inevitability to it.”

I agreed it did  and explained why those appointments worked for me at the time. But then someone emailed me to ask a hypothetical question about revisiting a M/m situation.

My initial thoughts about M/m came just before our DD regime was put into turmoil by me being rather badly behaved when it came to punishment a few nights ago – and just two days later Dan posed a question on his female led relationship blog about resistance from the male when it came to punishment. It was a timely blog post.

I was secured over the bench and had suffered three strokes of the cane when, in a fit of panic, I felt I could take no more and begged for Mistress to stop.

I don’t understand why I behaved like this. For years I’ve had a deep-seated need to be caned – and I’m in a relationship where there is a mechanism for this to happen. And when our DD regime is working, our relationship is perfect.

This has happened before – and I’ve blogged about it - but this recent episode left me very upset and baffled. And Mistress was very annoyed, as well as being upset too.

My only excuse is that I could not deal with the pain – even though I want to submit to her discipline and, actually, feel that I need it.

Of course, in an ideal world, the punishment would have continued but Mistress is still not  100% confident in her role and secondly, she worries about the neighbours over-hearing my protestations.

Mistress stopped immediately and once we had put the canes away, we sat and discussed why I behave this way – and what we could do to resolve the issue, if indeed it was worth resolving. Mistress questioned whether we should stop DD altogether.

My view is that the recent punishment session came after several weeks of inactivity and neither of us, especially me, were in a mindset conducive to maintaining a strict discipline environment.

There was no real reason for the punishment, apart from a bid to get me back on track by re-acquainting me with the cane.

My thoughts are that we need more consistency in maintaining our DD regime.

And I need to understand that there will be no escape from punishment, plus, no matter how busy we are, we need to ensure that we both remain focused on our DD rules.

Mistress took the almost unprecedented step of responding to Dan’s comments to, dictating her response for me to type onto the blog.

She said: “I was really upset with the way gk behaved the other night. His begging was a pathetic display for a grown man and was the final straw in several incidents of him fighting my authority.

“We’ve talked over why he behaves this way and he can’t really come up with any valid explanation apart from the fact that we’re not consistent enough with our regime. He’s right to an extent – but it’s no excuse for questioning my authority to wriggle out of the cane.

“I’ve decided, since we have had several months now where DD has been largely overlooked, that we need to do something drastic to get him towing the line again.

“It’s not all his fault. We’ve both been very busy with our work and it’s been too easy to overlook our relationship – on all levels, not just DD.

“I offered him the opportunity of discarding our DD regime. But he’s adamant he wants to continue.
“I’ve also offered him the opportunity to go and see someone else for the discipline he ‘needs’ but he refused that too.

“I believe, from everything he said and everything I know, that he needs my discipline to keep him in line. So what I’ve decided is that I am going to retrain him – this is the first he’s heard of this as he’s taking my dictation. We’re going back to basics. He’s going to be set tasks and chores on a daily basis – and he’s going to have to stick to the rules we’ve had for some time.

“For the next few weeks, he is going to be submissive to me 24/7 – not just when he feels like it. And if he fails or displeases he will be punished whether he likes it or not. He needs to be in the submissive mindset all the time and not just when he’s in the mood to be.”

“And if he fails to be 100% compliant after this period of training, then at least I’ve upheld my side of the bargain and given him every opportunity to lead the DD regime that he says he wanted. I will leave it to him to expand on his retraining.”